I’ve got a cash drawer and a keyboard

April 5th, 2024

I won’t say that I forget that idoru is here although I don’t ever make progress on turning it into a functional blog again. Its more that there is so much going on in my life that even if there were readers it would feel daunting to keep it updated despite having time. There is always time somewhere, it can just be difficult to locate. But without readers and with a relatively busy life it just hasn’t been a priority. What the priorities are? Sometimes hard to tell.

To that end I have been trying to keep a list of all the various projects that are floating out there in the ether, ranging from professional (Get my PMP?) to the personal (reorganize my kitchen) to actual work projects that I get paid to. Updating Idoru and my static personal/professional website are on the list but not high on there. Which, note, i should really go through and actually prioritize all of these projects but that’s a headache for a different day. Some of these projects are more time sensitive than others and some will definitely wait until the seasons change before I tackle them (rebuilding my commuter bike should probably happen in the winter for example).

But there are things I should get to sooner rather than later such as buying a new road bike, getting disciplined about exercise again, organizing my kitchen, putting in a closet system…. somewhere in there I will get to Idoru on a rainy day perhaps.

I guess I knew that when we get older we get busier but I never really thought it would happen to me in quite the way that it has. It almost feels like I should take a week off work and do a staycation to try and clean up some of this mess but I don’t think it would actually accomplish much all things considered. Its just a matter of setting priorities and then getting to them. Also I just realized how much I am beating a drum about priorities and projects and overwhelmed feeling about it all so that tells me that there is some definite subconscious stuff going on.

In other news though, it is bike season. I haven’t ridden *much* yet but that will change because is definitely a priority. Its funny to think that the motorcycle used to be that priority and now I would rather ride a regular old bicycle. as I often tell him, I am my father’s son. Although I have no desire to ride across the US. And will probably top out at a more reasonable number of bikes than what he currently owns even in his mid 70s. Which brings me back to that road bike I want to buy, a nice steel road bike a triple gears. It will end up costing more than I paid for a motorcycle but hey, lets blame inflation. Or the factthat the motorcycle I bought was in 2006 which is rather a while ago.

Anyway, not a ton new in life. Went to palm springs in january. Work is work. Stuff is busy.

We Fight, We Fuck, We Fall Asleep

December 6th, 2023

Or: On Projects

As 2023 draws rapidly to a close I am in a reflective mood as so many people are. Something about the calendar turning to a new one makes me want to stop and reflect on what the hell I actually accomplished and what I hope to accomplish in the next turning of the calendar.

Without a doubt its been a pretty damn productive few years for me. But focusing on 2023 I had good vacations in Palm Springs, Mexico, and Portland. I got a new job. I learned how to build a bike. I did a lot of house projects. I did some reading, I did some writing, I did some work on personal projects, I sort of resurrected this old thing. I loved, I lost I raged against the dying of that good night. Ok that might be taking it too far.

One of the weird things I am really proud of is actually building that bike. I had never really done anything beyond oil a chain and make minor adjustments but I managed to strip a bike down to its frame, install a new bottom bracket, new chainring and cranks, new rear sprocket, new brakes new cables and housing, new shifter… really just about everything. Its still a heavy as sin bike and it kind of rides … its not a nimble bike but its nice to be able to look at something and say “I did that” which isn’t always something I get to say very often. So behold:

A black and Blue fat tire bike leaning against a tree

Work has been an interesting transition. I am much happier than I was at my last position and am much better suited to it but its also a bit of a hearkening to my first job post college. Lots of busy, lots of year end madness, lots of shifting priorities. But its also something that I am being able to make into my own, its something I feel i do well, and the people are great. And unlike back then I am paid enough to actually go enjoy my life at least somewhat. As such, another vacation in Palm Springs in about a month.

One of the nice things about what has changed over the last year or so is how much more comfortable I am in just saying “Fuckit we ball” and trying something. Again a throwback but again in a good way. The bike up there is one example, another is replacing my car speakers tonight, another is getting a roof put on my house. Did i know how to do any of this shit before I did it? No. Are they all done? Yes.* Because fuckit we ball.

I am also getting a bit more back on the personal health bandwagon. This is more of a return to form after years of COVID and laziness and whatever else. I rejoined the gym back in January (maybe mentioned here already) and its been a good thing. I am not as consistent about diet or drinking or anything else that I was prior to a global pandemic but I am making progress. My weight has gone down, I feel better, some health stuff has gotten better. Another project although this one only ends when I do.

My personal life hasn’t changed much, which is probably a good thing. I definitely tend towards a bit of stability in that department and even though my current partner (3+ years and counting) doesn’t necessarily tend towards stability in most things its still working. Keep n keeping on till it doesn’t make sense anymore or something. That said they are going through a rough time and i definitely feel bad about it. Not really much I can do about said rough time but its true. Who knows, maybe I will see my old therapist about it for a bit just to sort of recenter myself.

Other than that, probably all the news fit to print today at least.

*One of them still needs to be installed because it was getting cold and dark but should be completed tomorrow afternoon so… close enough for a blog nobody reads?

I’d rather take my time in a city that never stops thinking

November 24th, 2023

Well my plans to start blogging again never really materialized this year which is actually ok. I don’t know that there has ever been a ton of value in me espousing my thoughts in the wild like this, although when you think about my twitter or blue sky clearly its something I like to do. Particularly in bite size chunks. Also a new year year is coming and maybe that year I will blog! Either way I don’t intend to let idoru.us lapse, if for no other reason than that I own the domain until the end of 2025 and will probably be renewing at that point anyway. Stability can be nice.

That still makes me wonder what I should do with this website but that is a random question for sure. At some point I still intend to continue with creating the random 8ft subdomain (or maybe a whole ass domain, who knows) and use it as a personal insta rip off. You know, like what I did when I was depressed a bunch of years ago. And I also intend to find new hosting for my domains because honestly while my current host is fine it feels kind of archaic and also I am basically a zombie customer. I expect the hosting change to occur next year though, almost certainly after my palm springs vacation.

Oh yeah, I have another week in palm springs booked for January. Seems to help my mental health to have something to look forward to through the holidays and also to just get the fuck away from winter for a bit. I expect that Mexico might be int eh future for my birthday as well but who knows.

Work is still a pleasant change from my last position. I took this week off just because I need to burn time away but I am not sad about going back on Monday. I will probably log in and run through emails quic this weekend but honestly its not a drag. The work is challenging and rewarding. I am getting paid well. Life is pretty good over all. And I see some room for growth, overall this was the right move on all fronts.

I think I am going to leave it there.