The Left hand of God

August 30th, 2014

So not a ton has been going for the past month. Mostly just getting settled down and into the daily grind of my life. Bits here and there that certainly change but nothing momentous and I rather like that truthfully.

I am pretty well used to my new home at this point although god knows that there are still plenty of things I still need to do. Furnishings, decorations, various updates on a small scale level…. truly once you own a place the work never completely ends but it certainly decreases as time flows. And as we all know, the spice must flow. The other thing that has been happening is that I have been going out and trying things in the neighbourhood. I went to Harriet brewing a few weekends ago which was fun, live music with no cover. Too bad that the beer is ‘meh’ at best. I am still a huge fan of the brewpub 4 blocks away and the bar 2 blocks away has nice atmosphere but the beer is kinda overprices and their taps are mediocre at best. then there is the light rail which I was able to explore a bit when Trevnor was visiting. It is damn nice to be able to go downtown for $2. Or free really since there seems to always be some sort of ‘ride for free’ pass going on during the weekends. So yeah, going out way more often which is a bit more expensive but …. so be it.

I am also getting settled into my new job after a full month. Its a big adjustment but so far I am happy. Sure there is no WFH but overall it was clearly the better choice and not just for the raise (although that part is great I must admit). The team of people (which just shrunk by one) is nice and helpful, the job is fine, the workload isn’t insane…. really its just a big step forward. I will probably only stay around for a year to two in this position before I actively start pursuing my next step but that’s just the nature of employment these days. Its certainly not the America that my parents grew up in.

One of the other changes going on, that was touched on just a tad, is that I am putting way more effort into financial planning than I used to. I am not sure whether its the new job/income, the new home, the fact I am getting older, something else or a combination of all of the above but I am certainly spending more time working with budgets, planning for retirement, etc. Its interesting because I have yet to stick to a budget since I actually made one. But now I am actually aware of exactly where my money is going at any given time. Plus there have a large number of random 1 off expenses since I began the entire process. At the same time I have significantly increased the amount of money that I am contributing towards my 401k. Retirement doesn’t seem like quite as much of a pipe dream as it used to be. It almost certainly won’t be what it was for the boomers but maybe I can get ahead of the people in my generation who are eyeballs in debt.

I am planning for the future in other ways as well. I have started making and bringing my lunch to work every day which is healthier and cheaper. I have started going to the gym again. I have cut way back on the beer. I am trying to lose the weight that inevitably creeps up on you as you gain a few years and get a bit more sedentary. This happens to me every so often anyway but it feels a bit more structured this time around so we shall see I suppose.

I am still taking time to enjoy myself, don’t get me wrong. Its not all budgets and sobriety. I have tickets booked for another vacation, I have been going out here and there as I mentioned previously, been reading a lot and watching netflix here and there. Very little video gaming but that’s not much of a surprise truthfully, seems that ranks lower as I get older, particularly in the summer. Got another vacation planned. One thing I haven’t been doing much of this year is riding my motorcycle. Nothing intentional, just lots of crappy weather and other obligations I suppose. It didn’t help that I couldn’t get her completely up and running until the middle of June so I have only had about 2.5 months worth of riding season and lots of other things going on there. If the weather was only better today I would probably go for a ride actually…. and still might regardless.

That’s about the story as it goes so far anyway… we’ll see what adventures come about though. There is always something over the next hill.


July 28th, 2014

Man, I jumped out of a plane today. Thats kinda crazy to think about.

Whats crazier is that I am absolutely going to do it again. The adrenaline rush, the fact that you are falling to earth at (roughly) 120 mph…. thats a hell of a rush. Realistically it wouldn’t be that time intensive (although it would certainly not be cheap) to get my license so I can just do that sort of thing. Plus, once that is achieved its way way cheap.

Looks like my adrenaline addiction might be back.

Who makes a living selling plasma?

July 12th, 2014



This one has been a win. This entire fucking year has been a win on every last checkmark.

So lets see, its been a while since I wrote anything down here. I believe the last time I wrote something was a week or so after I closed on my condo. Since then I have managed to get my shit moved in, managed to, more or less, furnish the place and most importantly, turn it into home. I think about ‘home’ and this is what comes to mind. Which is both a little surprising and completely awesome. Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of things that I need to get done still, but there is nothing urgent about it at this point. What remains can take a bit of time to get done right rather than fast. Plus, I have been operating in the red for long enough that taking a bit of time to let shit settle down will be a damn good idea.

Plus I was able to cancel my fucking comcast account. Not to say that I might not have to go back to them in a year thanks to the bullshit internet in the US but for now at least I am free and centurylink DSL is ‘good enough’ for right now.

I continue to volunteer intermittently, in fact I just finished a last minute volunteer thing for the non-profit beer company I sideline for. It was at a not so great part of town in a trashy liquor store (they have cops permanently assigned there, classy huh?) but I still managed to get about 5 cases of premium higher priced beer out the door so, you know, mission accomplished and all that when it comes to that. I am sure that they got their money’s worth from me, even when you factor in the surprise of getting some free beer from them for doing it on less than 24 hours notice. Frankly its not as though I really had anything better going, as evidenced by the fact that I am sitting at home writing this on a Saturday evening.

Sometime around January when I was pretty unhappy with a number of things in my life I mentioned that I had bought a gift certificate to go sky diving. Well this coming Monday is the big day. Not sure whether I should be excited or scared or what but at this point it doesn’t even seem real to me yet. I drive out there, they strap me to some dude and then throw me out of the plane at 15,000 feet or something. I am sure that it will become real but for right now its just something still out there. Expect a report or something the next time I get off my ass and update this some more.

Speaking of my mental state lately, I have been terrible about going  the gym since I started moving. In fact I made it once last week and hadn’t made it since … I think before we went to Chicago. So I am working on getting my, somewhat chubby, ass back into the gym.

And speaking of Chicago, it was a great long weekend. Low stress, just getting the hell away and spending some time with the lady. A bit of shopping here and there, that sort of thing. Some beers with lunch by the river, walking along lake Michigan, etc. You get the idea, just a short weekend away. I give it a 4.7 out 5, would repeat.

I also, oddly, managed to attend an event to celebrate Canada Day at the consul general’s house. We went last ear as well and its a very surreal environ. Its basically a bunch of big wigs hob nobbing. Basically… an adult party? I am not positive but it was a fun time and I will go again if I get the chance. The weekend after that we went to the beer dabbler at the local pride festival. Good times and lets just say I am rather glad that I live close enough to the light rail that I can take it downtown should I want. It might not be the fastest, or most convenient method of transit but I don’t need to worry about drunk drivers, DUI, my car, anything. Plus, realistically, I almost never go downtown anyway so this might mean I actually start to now.

So here is the other news…. This is the news that has been waiting to happen for a few years now actually. Last Friday I was offered and accepted a new position. Achievement unlocked, new job acquired. I don’t want to give to many details but its one of those things where, as I told my boss, I really couldn’t not accept the offer that was made. So… yeah. Its a win and a learning experience. One thing I will say, I will genuinely miss the people on my current team. They are good people and they are going to have to deal with a lot of bullshit. My leaving has only made the bullshit worse for them. I will genuinely miss some of the people in my current office, but they will get over it and so will I. I will also genuinely enjoy never having to see one worthless woman who has gone out of her way to make my life worse. Its good to be going somewhere more positive and getting away from that negative energy pit.

The real takeaway from all of this though is that I have managed to accomplish more goals in the last 6 months than I had managed to accomplish in the previous few years. I am sure that there are a lot of different things that I could point my finger at and say ‘it was X! X held me back!’ or ‘man, if only Y had been the case everything would have been so much simpler!’ Instead what I am going to do is say that I got complacent. I got comfortable and allowed myself to start thinking of the status quo as, not exactly superior but perhaps…. easier. It was easier to keep myself in a position of being a big fish in a little pond. Then when I became a little fish in a big pond I was scared. Scared of getting eaten by one of those big fish that I used to be. Eventually I realized that this was really no way to live. I was miserable, I was situationally depressed, I was drinking way too much, I was angry all the damn time. So whats the fucking solution?

Try again, fail again. No worries, fail better.

Work on what I could control and let the chips fall here they may. Just fucking do it. That was the answer I found. Doesn’t matter really if I am afraid, its better to be a bit scared than a raging ball of misery (how come I never learned that when i was 18 and fueled by hate?). At the very least fear keeps you on your toes. I might not float like a butterfly and sting like a bee but I can still dance & when I bring the pain it can be felt so thats good enough for right now.

I think thats probably enough rambling self congratulatory masturbation for the evening. But yeah, after a lot of learning its a big fucking checkmark in the win category all the way around.