Archive for the ‘General’ Category

We Fight, We Fuck, We Fall Asleep

Wednesday, December 6th, 2023

Or: On Projects

As 2023 draws rapidly to a close I am in a reflective mood as so many people are. Something about the calendar turning to a new one makes me want to stop and reflect on what the hell I actually accomplished and what I hope to accomplish in the next turning of the calendar.

Without a doubt its been a pretty damn productive few years for me. But focusing on 2023 I had good vacations in Palm Springs, Mexico, and Portland. I got a new job. I learned how to build a bike. I did a lot of house projects. I did some reading, I did some writing, I did some work on personal projects, I sort of resurrected this old thing. I loved, I lost I raged against the dying of that good night. Ok that might be taking it too far.

One of the weird things I am really proud of is actually building that bike. I had never really done anything beyond oil a chain and make minor adjustments but I managed to strip a bike down to its frame, install a new bottom bracket, new chainring and cranks, new rear sprocket, new brakes new cables and housing, new shifter… really just about everything. Its still a heavy as sin bike and it kind of rides … its not a nimble bike but its nice to be able to look at something and say “I did that” which isn’t always something I get to say very often. So behold:

A black and Blue fat tire bike leaning against a tree

Work has been an interesting transition. I am much happier than I was at my last position and am much better suited to it but its also a bit of a hearkening to my first job post college. Lots of busy, lots of year end madness, lots of shifting priorities. But its also something that I am being able to make into my own, its something I feel i do well, and the people are great. And unlike back then I am paid enough to actually go enjoy my life at least somewhat. As such, another vacation in Palm Springs in about a month.

One of the nice things about what has changed over the last year or so is how much more comfortable I am in just saying “Fuckit we ball” and trying something. Again a throwback but again in a good way. The bike up there is one example, another is replacing my car speakers tonight, another is getting a roof put on my house. Did i know how to do any of this shit before I did it? No. Are they all done? Yes.* Because fuckit we ball.

I am also getting a bit more back on the personal health bandwagon. This is more of a return to form after years of COVID and laziness and whatever else. I rejoined the gym back in January (maybe mentioned here already) and its been a good thing. I am not as consistent about diet or drinking or anything else that I was prior to a global pandemic but I am making progress. My weight has gone down, I feel better, some health stuff has gotten better. Another project although this one only ends when I do.

My personal life hasn’t changed much, which is probably a good thing. I definitely tend towards a bit of stability in that department and even though my current partner (3+ years and counting) doesn’t necessarily tend towards stability in most things its still working. Keep n keeping on till it doesn’t make sense anymore or something. That said they are going through a rough time and i definitely feel bad about it. Not really much I can do about said rough time but its true. Who knows, maybe I will see my old therapist about it for a bit just to sort of recenter myself.

Other than that, probably all the news fit to print today at least.

*One of them still needs to be installed because it was getting cold and dark but should be completed tomorrow afternoon so… close enough for a blog nobody reads?

I’d rather take my time in a city that never stops thinking

Friday, November 24th, 2023

Well my plans to start blogging again never really materialized this year which is actually ok. I don’t know that there has ever been a ton of value in me espousing my thoughts in the wild like this, although when you think about my twitter or blue sky clearly its something I like to do. Particularly in bite size chunks. Also a new year year is coming and maybe that year I will blog! Either way I don’t intend to let idoru.us lapse, if for no other reason than that I own the domain until the end of 2025 and will probably be renewing at that point anyway. Stability can be nice.

That still makes me wonder what I should do with this website but that is a random question for sure. At some point I still intend to continue with creating the random 8ft subdomain (or maybe a whole ass domain, who knows) and use it as a personal insta rip off. You know, like what I did when I was depressed a bunch of years ago. And I also intend to find new hosting for my domains because honestly while my current host is fine it feels kind of archaic and also I am basically a zombie customer. I expect the hosting change to occur next year though, almost certainly after my palm springs vacation.

Oh yeah, I have another week in palm springs booked for January. Seems to help my mental health to have something to look forward to through the holidays and also to just get the fuck away from winter for a bit. I expect that Mexico might be int eh future for my birthday as well but who knows.

Work is still a pleasant change from my last position. I took this week off just because I need to burn time away but I am not sad about going back on Monday. I will probably log in and run through emails quic this weekend but honestly its not a drag. The work is challenging and rewarding. I am getting paid well. Life is pretty good over all. And I see some room for growth, overall this was the right move on all fronts.

I think I am going to leave it there.

He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich

Friday, August 18th, 2023

Somehow when my partner heard the whole Men at Work – Land Down Under song the one thing she glommed on to was “He gave me a vegemite sandwich. Till the day I die I will never understand her but ADHD is a hell of a drug it seems. That said our first date was almost three years ago (& pandemic dating was weird as fuck) so I guess I am still curious where this rabbit hole goes.

Three weeks into the new job and it seems both interesting and challenging in good ways. I am still doing some training and such for my old job (somebody has to pick that up) and realizing that the challenges were all because of stuff outside of my control, no chance to move the needle. And while I could have just hung out and collected a check it was probably not goo for my health in either a physical or mental sense. The new job is going to be more work in some ways and yet in others i think i will be … I don’t want to say less work but less direct. The measure of my success will be about whether or not other people are successful and that is actually a good step into the future that I am starting to see ahead of me.

In Idoru news…. I think i have settled on a general idea for a redesign (that … well I am not sure who will even see it but why not modernize it?) that will hopefully modernize it a little bit. I still think the era of blogs is more or less over thanks to faceyspace, twitter, insta, etc. But I might as well keep this little corner of the internet carved out for myself. I suspect that after the redesign and then after work is no longer busy (January-ish) I will probably migrate to a new host that is cheaper. The other thing I think that is coming is that I will probably resurrect 8feet which was a weird photoblog thing I did (and have lost all the photos of it appears, maybe they are in icloud somewhere) back in 2014 or so. It was really a snapshot a day project and I think the new thing will be more of a random images I take that interest me situation. It also will probably be integrated into idoru as a blog much better which is also a win.

Part of that is a desire to be creative again. I know that a lot of people lost their voice during the last few years and I am no exception. I have been tossing around a variety of hobby type things to break that funk for a few months but with no real traction. So I suspect I will pick one and give myself permission to be awful at it again and go from there. Photography, music, who knows where it will be. I have a little bit of extra coin right now that helps me feel like I can do them all.

In things I can definitely do, I have a new project that I am calling Black and Blue. I am sure you can guess where the black comes from but the rims are blue to answer the other half. Planning on new brakes, new gears/shifter, new pedals and cranks, etc. Most of those will probably also be blue. It rides like a pig, is heavy as hell, and was cheap for the original buyer. Should also be a lot of fun during the snow I suspect. And if not, well I am not out a ton of money. Also i am definitely going to learn a lot about this shit.

I would say that is all that is fit to type but its really not. There is still i could mention regarding twitters death and replacements, re-reading the archives here, desire to travel, and so much more. But I think this is enough for right now and that’s worth celebrating as well. Maybe I will do that tomorrow.